It occurred to me today while out on a 4 mile run that when I first got into working out in college my main goal was to just lose weight. However, my focus now is to be healthy and to continue gaining strength and endurance as a runner and overall athlete. In the beginning of my working out stages I wasn’t focused on being healthy or fit; I was focused on being “skinny” and having a so called perfect body. I have gone through many phases with exercising and I finally feel like I’m at a point where I’m healthy, strong, and happy.
When I started out I was mostly into cardio, spinning, and kickboxing classes. I lost a bunch of weight and was amazed at how I looked and felt. After I graduated college I got bored with this routine and got really into lifting heavy weights and was easily bench pressing over 100lbs, but I did NOT appear lean. I wasn’t doing much cardio at all and I was spending 60-90 minutes at the gym 7 days a week solely lifting. I couldn’t understand why I was gaining weight and my dad started making comments saying, “Jeez, you’re really starting to look jacked.” I had lost a bunch of weight in college when I first started and it seemed I was putting it all back on with this new routine. Even more upsetting was that I wasn’t happy with how I looked or felt. I didn’t feel feminine or healthy; I felt manly, bulky, and tired. I finally decided to stop lifting all together and focused on only cardio and taking several aerobics classes each week that included a lot of strength exercises and interval training. I quickly went from weighing 140lbs to 125lbs. I was feeling “skinny” again, but I still needed something extra to feel lean, strong, and healthy. I started incorporating weight training again, but focused on doing lighter weights at high repetitions. I also started doing more stuff that required my own body strength, pushups, plyometrics, planks, and now I’m totally into yoga. I have realized that overtime my goals have changed into wanting to find my healthiest body, not my skinniest body. Even when I first began running consistently I thought to myself, “Sweet, maybe I’ll shed a bunch of weight!” Since then I have learned that being skinny is far too overrated. It doesn’t mean that you’re healthy and it doesn’t mean you look or feel good. And btw, I didn’t shed a bunch of weight from running. I lost a few lbs, but there wasn’t any sort of crazy weight loss. I have learned that a healthy weight for my body and frame is 120-125lbs which is where I fluctuate and feel my healthiest, strongest, and happiest. I have curves, I have muscle, and I have about 20% body fat. What I also have is confidence and confidence is key! I used to want nothing more than to shrink my naturally wide hips and thick thighs. I have since learned that they help me run, bike, and ski strong and efficiently. I have leaned out and strengthened my thighs a lot, but more importantly I’m learning to embrace my body and what each part of it allows me to accomplish. Because truth be told my “big” hips and thighs allow me to do the physical activities that I thoroughly enjoy.
I realize now that when I first started out on this journey as an “athlete”, “runner”, and “workout queen”, that I was working out so I could eat whatever I wanted. But now, I eat so I can workout. Fuel is so important to get your body through runs, bike rides, lifting sessions, and a day of skiing. Without enough food and the proper amount of proteins, carbs, sugars, and hydration your body will eventually bonk, shut down, and you’ll feel horrible. Where is the fun in that?! I’ve been there. I’ve done that. And it outright sucks! I’m continuing to figure which foods help fuel my body best for specific workouts. But instead of having the mindset that I’m simply working out so I can eat, I now think to myself, “What can I eat to help me get through this long run or bike ride?” Or, “What should I eat to help me recover, replenish, and refuel myself after a hard workout?” It’s about being healthy! It’s about being strong! And it’s about being HAPPY! Mind, body, and soul!
So screw skinny and stay strong and healthy people! Love your body and love yourself, whatever that may look like!
~SLK