Alrighty fellow friends and followers, it’s time to bestow upon you my latest breastfeeding battles. Because I know life just wouldn’t be the same if I didn’t keep you all up-to-speed with my boobs and bitchfests! ๐ So, what’s new here in mommyville? Welp, as you can probably gather from my title, my sweet little cherub has some teeth. Two bottom teeth to be exact – front, center and absolutely adorable. Until they touch my tatas, that is.
My daughter started teething pretty early on, and just after she hit her six month milestone, she had two bottom teeth poking through. Finally! We had full justification for her chewing everything she could get her hands on, the sudden fussy nights and excessive drooling. But like every milestone, it’s been bittersweet. Teeth are just one more reminder that she is growing up faster than I want her too. They’re also, in my opinion, an unpleasant accessory to my breasts. Regardless if she accidentally bites me (that’s only happened a couple of times), it’s absolutely impossible not to feel her fresh razor sharp teeth when they’re attached to my tits.
Yea excuse my language, but you should all know by now that on rants like this I don’t hold back! No shame, no gain! Anyhooo…
I especially love when she becomes distracted by a noise or surroundings and jerks her head off practically taking my nipple with her. My husband has asked a few times, “Honey have you felt her teeth?! They’re like daggers!” Ummmm yea no shit! They’re attached to me at least four times a day! Seriously people, tits and teeth shouldn’t tango! Like ever!
I also really enjoy that she now grabs my shirt and pulls it down in search for my breasts. Where on earth did my sweet little newborn go? And who is this ravenous baby that becomes angry when I do not bust out my boobs at her every beck and call?!
Oh, please don’t let me forget how she grabs my breasts with her adorable pudgy little hands. She also plays drums on my boobs, pinches them and uses them as a pacifier. All bottles and binky’s are just taking up space in our house now because she boycotts both like a champ. Basically, I’ve become a milk and binky slave.
I still remember the first time I nursed her. It’s actually a moment I’ll never forget and will always cherish. She latched on perfectly, and it was a beautiful bonding experience. The dilemma is, that latch now has teeth and seems to be tighter than ever.
I have been joking for months that I’ll be breastfeeding until college. Because at the attachment rate we’re going, she’ll have all her molars, lost all her baby teeth and be sporting a smile with permanent teeth.
Dear Time Magazine, let’s start discussing a cover photo and headlining story… Me, my kid and my boobs. She won’t even need a step stool to reach my chest because like I said, we’ll be breastfeeding until college over here!
It’s crazy to think that I’ve been at this for eight months. In the beginning, I never imagined I’d make it this far. Now, I almost forget what a normal bra looks and feels like or what it’s like not needing to whip out my tatas when my kid is hungry.
Oh, and btw, it turns out breastfeeding is waaaaaaay easier than preparing food. So while I sit here bitching about teeth and how I’m pretty certain my kid will be attached to my tatas until college, I’d actually much rather breastfeed than figure out which fresh fruit or veggie I’m going to boil, bake, cut up, puree and feed her.
The irony of it all is that as much as I still occasionally get frustrated and feel like I’m chained to the demands of my daughters every hunger pain and pacifying need, I actually really love breastfeeding. I still stand strong that breast is best. I remind myself often that one day, this will all be a distant memory and that I need to appreciate and enjoy the tough times just as much as the beautiful ones. So while I’m not the biggest fan of my kids teeth on my tits, I’ll probably be eating any prior pre-mom judgy words when it came to women nursing their babies past one year of age, and be the one breastfeeding until college. Go frigging figure! ๐
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