Once you become pregnant, EVERY women who has “been there done that” seems to offer up their advice. What you should do, what you shouldn’t do, what you should eat, what you shouldn’t eat…the list goes on. Throughout my pregnancy I’ve tried to be gracious to everyone who has offered their tips; even when I think some of it is…well…crap!
For example, a woman recently told me that I should be careful with my kale intake because kale has a lot of vitamin K which can cause your blood to clot and blood clots are common in pregnancy. It’s no secret that kale is loaded with Vitamin K along with many other nutrients making it a powerhouse leafy green. Vitamin K is necessary for a variety of bodily functions, including normal blood clotting, bone health and antioxidant activity. I actually learned all this back in 2012 when my father-in-law got diagnosed with a blood clot in his leg and was given a list of foods to limit, kale being one of them due to its high levels of vitamin k. He was put on Coumadin to help thin his blood to prevent it from getting any worse, so eating foods that promote normal healthy blood clotting were best to stay away from. With that said, in a normal healthy person, kale is one of the best leafy green vegetables you can consume. Getting back to my own story, when I told my OBGYN the “advice” I was given and asked if it was still OK to eat kale, he literally burst out laughing, shook his head and said, “Do NOT cut out kale from you diet. It’s so healthy for you and the baby and it’s fantastic that it’s part of your weekly diet.” He also told me that some women, due to various health issues are at a higher risk of developing blood clots during pregnancy, but that he was not at all concerned about me. Here I am, 35 weeks into my pregnancy with a lot of kale consumption and I’ve yet to experience a blood clot! In fact, my cholesterol and all blood work taken during my pregnancy have all been optimal, and my doctor keeps telling me to keep up my healthy diet of tons of veggies and beans and limiting my meat intake to only a couple times a week. So preggies, cutting out kale from a diet because it “might cause a blood clot” is silly advice!
While most people have commended me in my continued workout routine throughout my pregnancy and have told me I inspire them; I’ve also had people tell me to “slow down”, that I’m doing too much and that I should be relaxing on the couch with my feet up every day. This also blows my mind. I have said it before and I’ll say it until I’m blue in the face, I feel better when I am moving. Whether it’s doing an actual workout, vacuuming and cleaning the house, or just out and about doing errands, if my body is moving I physically feel better. As soon as I become stagnant, things start to hurt and ache. I explained this to my doctor and he 100% OKs me to continue doing everything I’ve been doing all along and has said I’ve done incredibly well so to keep it up. Therefor, I haven’t taken any advice on being a lazy pregnancy chick sitting on the couch eating bonbons every single day.
Along with “advice” on what I should do during pregnancy are the folks who also like to tell me what I should do when I’m in actual labor. “GET THE EPIDURAL” is my favorite line. Pretty much everyone is urging me to go for the drugs. Anyone who knows me knows just how much I hate drugs. Most of the time I grin and bear any pain or discomfort, my husband can attest to that. The truth is, I would love to be able to give birth without anything, but I have NO idea what my labor will bring. Some of my friends had such quick labors there was literally no time for drugs, and other friends had long drawn out and painful labors even with the drugs. We’re all different and every pregnancy and childbirth is different. But somehow, I hate when people convince me that going for the drugs is what I absolutely should do. Why? Because it’s what they did? I am not ignorant to the fact that labor is going to be painful, but just how much pain and how quickly things move for me will depend on my decision. So personally, it doesn’t matter what people tell me; I’m just going to base my decision on my own situation and gut instincts. Maybe I’ll need the drugs, maybe I won’t. But I’ll be truthfully honest, I’m more nervous about the drugs and how I’ll physically feel being on them than I am pushing a baby out. Drugs literally scare me.
Last, but certainly not least, people also try to tell me what I NEED to do or HAVE to do once my baby is officially here. I have to use this product, I have to do it this way, make sure I do this, make sure I don’t do that. Jezuz people, sloooooow down! I worked with children, both infants and toddlers. While I am very certain that being a mother will be much different; I do know a thing or two about taking care of a child as I have several years experience under my belt. I truly believe that like with anything else, different things work for different people, that goes for mommies and babies too. I think motherhood is something that you just have to embrace and take day by day learning by trial and error… to figure out what works for you, your baby and your family. I don’t necessarily think there’s any one right or wrong way, but I think we all find our way and figure out what works for us. So I’m confident that I too, will learn and figure out what works best for us.
I honestly think the offering of unasked advice has been my biggest pregnancy pet peeve. What makes people think I want their advice if I didn’t ask? I’m a smart woman, I talk to my doctor, family and friends and I do research on my own. So sometimes I just want to stop them and say, “I didn’t ask!” It got me wondering how many other fellow preggies out there feel the same way? Is it just my raging pregnant hormones that I simply don’t care to hear about unasked for advice allowing it to creep slowly under my skin and tick me off? Or am I in majority that this is a common pregnancy pet peeve? By all means preggo’s! Let me know how you feel about this topic, because here’s a question I AM asking! 😉
~Sparke