Wow! What a week! I am officially 36 days away from my wedding and I really couldn’t be more excited. Our wedding bands have officially been ordered, we have scheduled a meeting to go over all the music with our DJ, and our vendors are just about paid off. I’m VERY excited about my wedding band! It’s an exact match to my engagement ring which will consist of 16 very high quality diamonds. My finger will be blinging!
With all of that said, I’ve also dealt with my first true taste of “wedding drama” this week. Man, where do I start?! I’ve always been told that when planning a wedding you really find out who your true friends are. But I never thought in all my life that I’d lose a best friend over my wedding. It’s funny; the woman who owns the dress shop where I purchased my wedding gown said to me, “Sometimes the people you thought were your best friends turn out to be your worst enemies.” Clearly I’ve learned this person is far from a friend never mind a best friend.
So here goes the venting word vomit. In a nutshell, one of my bridesmaids has been blowing me off all summer. She is out of state about four hours away. When her dress came in she asked if I could pick it up so she didn’t have to pay for the shipping charges and we had planned for her to come see me back in June. I had no problem with this whatsoever. I’ve tried to make my wedding as fun, inexpensive, and stress free for all of my bridesmaids. Long story short she never came that weekend and I was bummed out that she blew off our girls weekend. Of course, now that I’ve called her on it she tells me we both agreed it was best if she didn’t come which is completely untrue. I didn’t tell her I was annoyed with all of her many excuses as to why she couldn’t come. She had to work Monday and Friday (ummm don’t we all?!), she was tired, and was getting her period…the list goes on and I sadly still have the chat seeing as Gmail apparently saves them all. She also blew me off a second time when she was supposed to come for a weekend in July as she was “too busy planning her sister’s wedding” which is a month after mine. Needless to say she once again didn’t get her dress. Then she started asking me to ship her dress. No, I am not paying to ship your dress. She said she’d pay me back which at this point I doubt would have happened.
Now, less than a week before my bridal shower she came to me asking for help with finding her a ride to leave my bridal shower early. Yes, she wanted to leave in the middle of my bridal shower which had been planned for months so she wouldn’t get home too late. The bride isn’t supposed to be involved with her shower in any way, shape or form, but somehow I was hearing ALL the details and they were mostly through her. Regardless, I helped her get a ride with another friend/bridesmaid and explained they would both need to leave early now. The bus station is not close to where the shower taking place. Without all the dramatic details it turned into a huge fight and with her swearing at me saying maybe she shouldn’t “f’ing” come she didn’t want to ruin my “f’ing” shower…so on and so forth. The problem had been solved, we got her a ride. Her emotional outburst of her were erratic and crazy and she wasn’t even making a point or sense.
“WOW” and “WTF” is all that was going through my mind. She knew about my bridal shower for months. The day had been planned since the end of May. Of course she reminded me just last week her boyfriend’s birthday is the same weekend so with the track record of being blown off the last two times I instantly worried that she’d end up blowing off my shower. It seemed like she was using every possible excuse. Telling me the buses were all sold out when they weren’t. It’s not rocket science that I can go onto the website and check this for myself. It’s funny how she literally told me she was on the Peter Pan and Greyhound websites (yup, it’s all still saved in the gchat) and now she’s telling me she was on some Buzz website. Lies.
She also lied about emails and other small things that really ticked me off. For example, please do not tell me details of my shower like that my MOH asked the bridesmaids to bring or make food, then not respond to those emails, and then when you’re called out on why you haven’t responded tell me you didn’t respond because you never saw them because they went into your spam folder. Unbelievable. This is someone I do not need to be friends with. Do not lie to me. You didn’t have time to email, you forgot to email, hell you didn’t care to email – but do not lie to me. Lies, lies, and more lies. Then I literally questioned her saying I thought you got those emails, you told me that my MOH asked you to bring food ect. She told me “oh we talked about it a little during your bachelorette party.” This is yet another lie because my bridal shower date, details, and place had not even been officially decided on yet at the time of my bachelorette party. (We did my party early because I had a crazy busy summer.)
I’ve now been accused for forgetting her birthday this year when my fiancé and I specifically went to visit at New Years because we were told her boyfriend was taking her away for her birthday. I also dealt with a family death just the day before her birthday that she knew about and it was a tragic and hectic week. Then I was accused for not visiting her when she was having some health problems last year when I left numerous voicemails and sent several texts all of which went unanswered. My fiancé specifically remembers me telling him at one point that I was worried about her and wasn’t even sure if we were friends anymore because I was never hearing back from her. It’s amazing the things someone can accuse you of when you call them on the many things that they have done.
So with all of that craziness and telling us she will not be at my bridal shower (big shock) she is officially not a bridesmaids, not coming to our wedding, and quite frankly not a friend. My point in writing this? A. To vent. And B. for any of my engaged readers, choose your bridal party wisely. You will be surprised the sad things you find out about friends. Trust me when I tell you that weddings and drama do not mix. I feel thankful that this unfolded in time for me to get over it and move on and not have to be upset and emotional over losing a friend the day or week of my wedding. I’ve eliminated the unnecessary drama in my life that was very clearly causing me to lose sleep and anxiety. Sometimes you just need to cut your losses, say good bye, and move on.
Because this day is not about her or anyone else; it’s about me and my fiancé and us celebrating our marriage.
~SLK