It dawned on me today while I was out for a run, that three years ago, I was in my absolute best running shape. At the time, I was training for my second half marathon and weighed a solid 125lbs. I was able to run under 9 minute miles and could run a 5k in under 28 minutes. I wasn’t the fastest runner by any means, but for someone who couldn’t even run around a track once in high school, it was a huge feat and accomplishment. I didn’t think so then, but I was fit and strong. In three years my weight has fluctuated as low as 113lbs at my all time thinnest to 178lbs at my all time heaviest just before giving birth to my daughter. At 113lbs I didn’t feel healthy or strong, and at 178 pounds…well I just felt fat and pregnant!
Today, as I trudged along at just over an 11 minute mile pace pushing my 17lb 8oz baby girl in my swanky BOB stroller I felt great. At exactly four months postpartum, I weigh about 14-15lbs more than I did three years ago when I was running four to five days a week. I’m significantly slower on a run, but then again who wouldn’t be just a few months after having a baby? I’m not only carrying extra weight on my body, but I’m also pushing the weight of my daughter and a stroller.
Reflecting back on the last three years made me realize that where I’ve been has greatly helped me get to where I am now. No, I’m not as fast of a runner, or as thin as I used to be, or in my best running shape…yet! But, what I am is still fit and strong. In fact, possibly even stronger. I’ve been pleasantly surprised at my endurance and stamina postpartum. Today I felt like I could have run for miles. I probably would have if it wasn’t for my daughter crying partway through due to sore little legs from her four month vaccinations this morning. So a solid run turned into a walk with me carrying her in one arm and pushing the stroller with the other. How’s that for an added workout?! My biceps were on fire after a mile and a half of this. It fondly reminded me of the days when my dad carried me on his shoulders on hikes as a young kid. My daughter is making me stronger every single day, both mentally and physically. And she has been doing so since the day I found out I was pregnant.
Working out my entire pregnancy has definitely helped me “bounce back” postpartum. While it continues to be a lot of hard work and dedication shedding the extra lbs, I’m actually enjoying the challenge. I love seeing and feeling the changes my body is making. And even though I still weigh more than I did before, my pre-pregnancy clothes are fitting me better and better each week.
Now that I’ve been at both ends of the spectrum on the scale, I know that where I feel the healthiest is between 120-125lbs. Where I’ve been has helped me get to where I am now, and will ultimately help me get to where I want to go. This doesn’t just pertain to the fitness aspect of my life, but me as a wife, a mommy and individual. My long term goal is simply being healthy and happy. I feel like every week I encounter a new revelation within myself. Whether it be that I’m stronger than I was before or that I’m more patient than I ever thought I could be. I’ve learned a lot about myself, I’ve grown as a person and I’m proud of who I’ve become. If I could go back to my previous self from three years ago, two years ago and even one year ago – instead of demeaning myself, I’d do quite the opposite and appreciate my body and mind more and love me just the way I was. Because today I love me for just the way I am.
My point – be kind to yourself inside and out. Whatever your struggles, challenges, goals…be appreciative of who you are – past, present and future.
Life is a beautiful journey full of ups, downs and learning lessons that helps aid us in evolving into the people we become.
~Slparke