My little cherub seems to make friends wherever we go, stopping strangers in their tracks, young and old, who simply want to say hi and tell her how cute she is. I’m a big social butterfly myself, but I feel like I’ve had more conversations with strangers in the past six months than I have in the past six years thanks to my daughter. As she grows and develops a personality, I’m learning that she’s a little socialite herself, and loves the attention from people. Yesterday, after we finished a run, I stopped at a small local market to pick up a few things for dinner. I’m quite sure there wasn’t a single person we didn’t speak to, and a grocery trip that I thought was only going to take ten minutes turned into almost an hour.
In the produce section I got talking to a very nice woman whose two children (twins) are now teenagers. She kept complimenting my daughters smile, alertness and happy personality. Of course, being her mom, I obviously agree, but I jokingly said, “Hey, you haven’t seen her when she’s mad!” We had a full blown conversation about the trials and tribulations about being a mom, and at the same time we both said, “Men don’t get it!” Yes, I know I just wrote a blog about this, but because of the man who ended up joining our conversation, I have to touch upon this topic again.
So after we laughed at our, “Men don’t get it” joke, a man looked at us, smiled and laughed. I then sarcastically said to him, ” Hey no offense, but you really don’t get it!” I could tell he was friendly, and he too kept glancing at my daughter with a smile, so I knew I could chime him in. When I said that he smiled and responded with exactly this,
“I do get it, and I’ll tell you why. I’m widowed. My wife passed away when she was 40 and left me with three kids – one boy and two girls.”
My heart immediately stopped, and I wanted to reach out and hug him. He went on to tell us that he had to change his entire life around; his career, his priorities – everything. He said once his girls started reaching their teenage years, it became even harder as they started to “change” and he had to explain “certain things”, which I can only assume was a woman’s period, growing breasts and all the fun stuff that goes along with puberty and growing up. He went on to say that he wouldn’t in a million years want my job because it’s the hardest job in the entire world. And he said it again,
“I do get it, because I’ve done it, and it’s the hardest job there is.”
Ever since I met him, I can’t stop thinking about our conversation. A total and complete stranger whose story moved me and brought me to tears. I don’t know his name, I don’t know where he lives or what he does for work. All I know is a tiny piece of his story, and that his tragedies and experiences make him a wise and commendable person. Now for the record, in my “rant” blog where I moaned and groaned that men don’t get it, I excluded the stay-at home dads and the single dads from this general cliche. Somehow I never in a million years expected to actually meet a man, a stranger, that single-handedly experienced the life of a single widowed dad. The truth is, while I don’t think my husband “gets it”, I know I don’t get what it’s like for him either. Together we’re are a team, and the foundation of our family. Without him, what happens to our foundation and our family? I too would have to change everything – I’d have to go back to work, find day care for my daughter and rearrange my priorities.
There’s a book called The Five People You Meet in Heaven. I attempted to read it several years ago, but I found myself getting far too emotional and anxious, so I never finished it. But this man got me wondering, what about the people we meet on earth? And why isn’t there some wisdom filled book on that? Or maybe there is and I’m just unaware of it. Either way, I can’t explain why, but this man, this total stranger, had an impact on me. I believe we meet everyone for a reason. Whether they’re a positive or negative influence, and whether it’s short term or long lived, there is a reason people come in and out of our lives. Friendships, learning lessons, happiness, sadness, love… People are the spices and ingredients life is made of.
Tonight, I’ll hug my hard-working husband a little tighter, and cuddle even closer to my daughter. We truly never know what the next day or even minute is going to bring. I pray all the time that God and the angels I have in heaven keep me and my family safe. I wish I thanked this man for sharing his story, and being another reminder of how precious and unexpected life is. And that even though he “gets it”, I sure as hell don’t get what it’s like to do all of this alone. My daughter and I need and rely on my husband just as much as he does us. I guess I greenly and somewhat selfishly wasn’t looking at it that way before. This man taught me something, and he made believe that even the strangers we meet hold value to us. Lesson learned.
Happy Friday and always, I hope the day finds you well and the weekend treats you right.
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