January 1st, 2014 – the New Year is officially upon us and in full swing. While I’ve taken some time to blog and reflect back on 2013; I’ve also done a lot (and I mean A LOT) of thinking about this upcoming year. Thoughts about how much our lives are going to change, what kind of parents we want to be and if we can hack this whole parent thing at all have been scrambling in my head like eggs being beaten to a pulp. As I excited as I am to welcome our daughter into this world; I’m also scared shitless. I’m scared of child birth, I’m scared of the “what ifs” like what if she isn’t healthy, I’m scared of parenthood changing my husbands and I’s relationship and I’m scared of failure. But the fact of the matter is, I’m willing to bet every mother, father, grandmother and grandfather all felt the same way when they were becoming parents for the first time too. Because becoming a parent is a big deal. It’s not something to take for granted and it’s not something to take lightly. It’s a gift, it’s a blessing and it’s a lifelong challenge. Without even officially being a mother yet, there is one thing I am very certain of, no matter how much I love my daughter, motherhood will not be easy. I will make sacrifices daily, I will lose sleep, I will screw up here and there along the way, but one thing is for sure, everyday I will strive to be the best damn mother I can possibly be.
I’ve never been big on resolutions. The whole promising yourself to go back to the gym, to eat healthier, quit smoking and so on and so forth thing never really applied to me. I’m not by any means saying I’m perfect here, I just never really found anything in particular that I wanted to change other than continuing to create my best self. I never go into a new year with one specific thing I want to change; I go into it with the mindset that I just want to be the best person I can be and have a happy and healthy year and surround myself with positive people. I pray that my family and the people I care about stay healthy. This year, with impending motherhood just around the corner, I really only care to focus on my baby girl, husband and myself as a growing family. What I really don’t care about and what I’d like to leave behind are the folks out there who constantly feel the need to “1-up” everyone or think that life is some big competition. I recently saw something online that said, “Look in the Mirror, that’s your competition.” To say I loved this statement would be an understatement. I think it’s a perfect reminder that life is NOT a competition. Each and every single one of us have a different path to walk in this life, we have different goals, we have different wants. The only path I care to walk in is my own. So going into 2014 I decided to ignore the ignorant folks who behave like this, because as a mother, I do not have the time, energy or desire to surround myself with people who seemingly try to tell me what I should do, who I should be or convince me their life or their way is better.
Other things that have been on my mind for quite a while is just how much I want to share of my daughter once she’s here on social media. I wrote a blog back in the fall about privacy and that nothing on the Internet you share is really private. I think it’s one thing to post pictures of myself via Facebook or in a blog, but I find it to be something completely different to start exploiting pictures of an innocent child all over the place. My daughter has no say if she wants her pictures in my blog and all over the internet, therefor, I’ve decided I won’t be sharing any pictures of her on my personal blog. Because I cannot control who visits and see’s my blogs day in and day out, I just don’t feel comfortable with sharing her pictures here (sorry blog lovahs). I’d rather focus on blogging about my experiences as a new mommy rather than plastering her pictures online everywhere. I’m still undecided regarding how much I share via Facebook, because at least with that I have more control over who see’s my posts. This morning I changed my privacy settings on the ever so famous Instagram from public to private so if I share anything there, it’s not going to be viewed by everyone.
So, with 2014 here and becoming a new mother, I just want to focus on being the best person, wife and mommy I can be, and protecting my baby girl. My family comes first. It’s been a breath of fresh air to reflect on 2013, to focus on my continuing resolution to create and become my best self and to always remind myself of what’s truly important. Leave behind and forget the negativity, and focus on the positive.
We all have a new year full of unmarked territory that holds new possibilities, hopes and dreams. Everyone has a different path to walk in life, so don’t worry about what others think and focus on your own life, your own happiness and your own goals and accomplishments. Be kind to others and be kind to yourself. Your best resolution this year and every year is continuing to create your best self. Happy 2014 blog lovahs!
~Sparke