Since the very beginning of my pregnancy, I’ve read many articles, followed well-known blogs that provide the latest research and data and done a fair amount of research on what to expect while growing and carrying a baby for nine months. Some topics have been incredibly beneficial while others I’ve found not to be that interesting. One I recently came across was regarding how to bond with your baby before they actually make their big debut to the outside world. Which got me thinking, am I bonding with my baby? A slight sense of panic fell over me and I started questioning everything I’ve done since the beginning of my pregnancy. How have I bonded with my baby girl? Have I bonded with her at all? Is it too late to build a bond? I started feeling as if it was an area that I’ve lacked in and failed at.
I have friends who talked to their baby, read books to them and even kept journals. While all of those sound great, none of it really felt like a way of bonding for me. Don’t get me wrong, I talk to her once in a while and I’ve written a lot about pregnancy regarding the emotional and physical aspects I’ve experienced, but for me, that doesn’t feel like I’m creating a bond. I honestly think my husband talks to her more than I do. Whenever he comes home from work or wakes up in the morning he starts talking to her and asking her questions, it melts my heart. It’s made me wonder, do I talk to her enough? Then it dawned on me that somewhere during the second trimester, 18 weeks or so, I read that my baby’s ears were developed enough that she could start hearing and recognizing mine and my husbands voice. I also read that if you sing your baby the same song throughout your pregnancy, they’ll recognize the song if you sing it after they’re born. From there on out I started singing to my baby girl. Sometimes just with the radio and other times I just belt out a capella around the house. I also started playing music for her. Most mornings I wake up, turn on Pandora and just lay in bed playing music for her hoping she’ll become familiar with some of the songs and artists I’ve grown to love. At this point, music almost always gets her moving if she isn’t already. Since childhood, music has been a true love and passion of mine, and it’s helped me through some of the toughest times of my life. Without fail, it helps me feel, cope and express myself. Long before becoming pregnant I intended for my children to be introduced to the joys and power of music from the early stages of their life. What they want to do with it is their choice, but they will know music. My baby girl has been hearing me sing and listening to music with me since the very beginning, which made me realize that even though I never thought about it, this indeed was a special bond we’ve been creating together.
Beyond singing and playing my baby girl music, is exercise. She comes everywhere with me, which obviously includes every workout. I’ve kept up with barre classes, hiking, riding my bike, hitting the gym and going for walks throughout my entire pregnancy. Everything I’ve read about continuing to exercise during pregnancy has been nothing but positive. And in fact, I read the same about playing music and singing to your baby during pregnancy. In one of the articles I read it stated yoga, swimming and exercise in general was considered a bond. Another passion and love of mine is fitness and nutrition, and because I’ve continued working out and eating healthy, this too is something that I can confidently consider a bonding experience.
With more and more in depth thought about building a bond with your baby before birth, something I’ve realized is, no matter what any given woman does to create a bond with her baby, whether knowingly or not, there’s no greater bond you are building than simply growing a child and sharing everything together. We’re sharing the same food, the same oxygen, the same body. We are two people in one. I was a mother from the moment I become pregnant, growing and changing with and for my baby girl. What greater bond to build is there than simply creating and growing a little piece of myself and my husband everyday?
One of the most moving phrases that has literally brought me to tears is, “No one else will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you’re the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside.” – Unknown
Motherhood is a special gift. The bond you begin building with your baby starts from the moment you become pregnant and continues everyday for the rest of your life. It’s a miracle, a gift and a blessing.
~Sparke