My Love to Run is Greater Than My Fear…
I woke up this morning the same time I do most mornings, at 5am ready to take on the day. A typical day starts with a run and/ or teaching a fitness class, and I’m usually up with or before the sun. This morning, however, I laid in bed for almost an hour paralyzed with fear.
It was still dark out at 5am, and all I wanted to do was run, but I felt completely and utterly paranoid. I’m sure many of you have read or seen that in the last couple of weeks there have been three runners who were murdered while out on a run. Not one, not two, but three, and one was in the state I live. There literally hasn’t been a single day since that I haven’t thought about it. I keep wondering what was going through their minds. I keep thinking about their families. I keep thinking about the cruel reality that, “It could have been me…” Because yes, it could be any single one of us…
These days I tend to run with friends, either a select few or a large group, but I try to dedicate one day a week to run alone. Solo runs are my favorite; they’re therapeutic for me. It’s the time I can focus solely on me, sort through my thoughts and run carefree. But as I laid in bed this morning, all I could think about was, “What if…?”
What if it was my face being plastered all over the news? What if it was me who got murdered or attacked on a run? What if I laced up my sneakers and never returned home? What if I never saw my husband or my sweet baby girl again? What if and WTF?! None of us should have to worry or think like this…
I’ve told myself a million times I will not allow fear stop me from doing anything I love, especially when it comes running. If I did that then I never would have run and conquered the Boston Marathon, and that was a life changing race and moment for me.
So as the sky brightened up a bit, still laying there and texting with a friend, admitting to her that I was scared to go for my morning run, she offered sympathy but encouraged me to just be safe and go. So I finally peeled my body out of bed, made sure to wear my Road ID, bring a bottle of mace I just bought last week and I left the earbuds at home.
As I hit the pavement I was very much on guard. I paid close attention to every rustle in the leaves in the woods, every runner and cyclist passing by, every car that drove past… I took note of every single thing. While I do this somewhat on most runs, I was so much more aware today.
I made a pact with myself out there today to run safer and smarter from here on out.
Which means…
∗ NO earbuds on a solo run – ever. Period. I have done this a lot more lately anyway, and it’s becoming more enjoyable to run without them. It’s so incredibly important to hear your surroundings – car traffic, foot traffic, your foot strike. You can’t hear any of that with music blasting in your ears. Which means you can’t hear someone who’s ready to attack you from behind.
It means…
∗ ALWAYS wearing my Road ID. I’m not sure why I wear it sometimes and not all the time, but it’s important to have something on your body that has your name on it and emergency contact info. Almost and sometimes doesn’t count.
And it means…
∗ NEVER and I mean neeeever sharing any of the routes I run publicly on any social media channel – which is quite possibly one of the most important things any runner can do to help keep themselves safe. I changed the settings on my Strava app last summer after my husband suggested I keep my account private so that people I don’t know can’t see my running routes, or connect with me unless I approve it first He’s a smart guy, and it’s good advice. Fine if you want to take a couple selfies or pics in spots that don’t give out exactly where you are, Lord knows I do, but sharing your route with street names in the town you live is not smart. Do yourself a favor and keep that private.
I felt relieved to finally break the ice on my first solo run since learning about the three women that fell victim on a run. I realized out there today that my love for running is so much greater than my fear of something bad happening. I just won’t allow myself to stop doing what I love. I will however, run safer and smarter, and so should all of you.